Deciding on Change.
Change can be a frightening experience. Whether you are taking on a new job, re-educating, moving somewhere unfamiliar or even beginning a new relationship, this change can coincide with feelings of fear, distress, uncertainty and an array of overwhelming emotions. It may cause you to second guess your decisions, have doubts about your future or even crave the certainty that inspired your diversion in the first place.
These processes of the mind are common to us all. Many days we ask ourselves; am I heading in the right direction? How do I know I’ve made the right decision? Am I where I want to be? If you’re asking yourself these kinds of questions you’re already one step ahead of most, as in order to achieve growth, development, betterment and self-fulfillment, self-reflection is cornerstone. A successful person is constantly assessing the NOW and the WHAT NEXT. They do not wait for a drastic change before asking themselves the questions above. The more comprehensive and current our answers, the more we are in control when our lives are suddenly redirected.
Change happens to all of us; it may have been a conscious choice or it may have been imposed. The reason I talk about change today is that a friend of mine recently received an unexpected job promotion. While ecstatic to receive the recognition and monetary reward, she had uncertainty about her ability to take on the new responsibilities. After a couple months, this dwelling uncertainty was wreaking havoc with her self-confidence. Her staff began to doubt her ability, her stress was high and her personal life was also suffering. All these emotions and actions were merely by-products of the fact that she was never in control of her change. While we can’t always plan for change we can be in control of it. When it enters our lives unexpectedly, we are still the ones in charge of the decisions that manage our outcomes. My friend with the job promotion had not taken the time for self-reflection. I asked her to write down answers to the following; did she want the job? Did she deserve the job? What made her good at her job? And most importantly; what could this job do for her? After a few days she realised that she did have all the skills capable of fulfilling the job. She did deserve it and she did want it. Not only was it financially more lucrative, it would challenge her in a management area. She would have a chance to expand her skill-set, access professional development and undeniably increase her chances of career advancement. Her justification was right there in front of her. She was now in control of her change.
Examples, like the one of my friend, happen all the time. Human nature has it that we are all privy to the same catalogue of emotions. When you see the confident stride of the successful businessperson, it’s not as though they have something you don’t. They are no different from you and I. What they do have however, is the ability to access tools that allow them to realise, reflect and take ownership over situations, emotions and behaviour. This control contributes largely to self-worth, confidence, and pride and is radiated to the rest of the world. They still experience all the same doubts, fear and concern, just like everyone, but they have learned that they are in charge of their choices. What makes them successful is that they are in full control of the decisions that determine their future.
‘Things do not change; we change’ Henry David Thoreau
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